People in love make me want to vomit
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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