I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just invented taco cereal.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
