Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
