i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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