so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
