we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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