And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You ate ashes out of my bong
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
why is half of my head shaved?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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