I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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