Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
