do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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