ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize