hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
