She said her name was "party"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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