I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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