Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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