He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
