A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
