I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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