I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Randomize
