You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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