If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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