I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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