Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
