i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize