would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize