a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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