are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
