Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
