is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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