I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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