I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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