Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
