I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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