Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
