I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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