would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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