So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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