loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
