Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize