The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
