Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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