So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
