I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
handjob tips. give me some.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
