and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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