I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
