Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
