You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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