it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
