please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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