Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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