So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
