Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize