yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
